Canada - A Promise Fulfilled

April 9, 2017.

Hello, Canada!

It was just last November when I wrote my first blog post.

I wrote about my life testimony. 

As I re-read the part I wrote on my Calling, about how God has called me to come to Canada and join a YWAM school through the OneThing PH Conference last May, I sit here amazed.

Wow, I am in Canada right now as I write this.

I arrived here about 3 weeks ago (March 18) and it was only 4 days ago that I found out I was actually going through a mild culture shock!

Don't get me wrong, Canada is amazing! I love everything about this country, (except the bipolar weather which I will eventually get used to in time lol) but there is just something about taking the time to evaluate where you are holistically as you transition into an entirely new environment (and country), and it took me 19 days to realize what was really going on. 

Now I can freely write again and it's the best feeling ever!

Thank you Jesus!!!

Update

This week we just finished our Pure Heart week and it had been really intense.

God means serious business when He said He wants to restore us to be more like His Son.

The Apostle Peter wrote from his personal experience too,

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself RESTORE, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10 ESV)

Restoration means a return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition.

So if God wants to restore us, does that mean something was taken from us?

Ding ding ding!

Yes, you got it right!

Satan, in all his jealousy, knew who we were. So he distorted everything from the beginning of time; before we were even born. He tricked Eve to eat from the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and we were forever condemned by our sin. But Jesus came to save us from that and now we are set free! (If we accept Him as our Lord and Savior)

You can't imagine how much freedom I have right now from this week!

As insane as the process was to be where I am right now, the freedom it brings is also insanely worth it.

Here's a wacky photo of the team after balling our eyes out for most of the week.

A Love Made To Last

February 13, 2017.
Love is not a subject I really wanted to touch on yet, but I feel as though God has been impressing in my heart that whether I am personally ready to write about this or not, He can always use my willingness to get this done for Him. He knows how my readiness to be used by Him will glorify Him, and so we begin to write. My prayer for this blog post is that God be highly exalted from my joys and pain. How despite all the heartbreak I had to endure to find the love my heart prizes, I am still grateful because without it, I wouldn't be able to gain the wisdom I have now. Wisdom that I can only be able to share with you by God's grace and through His Spirit at work in me.

Besides, it will be Valentines day in just a few hours. So why not just give it a go?

Prelude
I had my fair shares of love in this lifetime. 23 years may not seem as much to most who are more advanced in age and experience but it was more than enough time to experience the kinds of love I would never wish on people.
And it was also about time that I found the love that surpassed all these other loves; a love made to last.

First love
Let me start this writing with the loves we start to know as we open our eyes into this world; this is our first love: Our parents.
The ones that hurt us the most are the ones we trust not to break our hearts; they are the ones closest to us.
In an early age we give our most sincerest love and trust to mom and dad. This love is so innocent; untainted. As children who follow by example, we look up to our parents and we want to grow to be like them someday. But imperfect as they are human, when they do or say things that hurt us or break our trust, we hold those emotions in our hearts and take it with us as we grow.
Yes, we still love our parents. But once the pain of unforgiveness takes root within us, it will grow into bitterness. May we not allow that to bear fruit in our lives.

Friendship
Ah friendship. Friendship is beautiful. I mean can you just imagine a world without friends?? I definitely can't. We were made for God-centered friendships. Yes, you heard me right. God-centered friendships.
God-centered friendships are built on a strong foundation that is made to last.
If you are reading this, I know that you have experienced your share of broken friendships as well. I won't lie, I have. It hurt me losing friends because they will always carry with them a part of me that only we share. And that goes the same for me as well.

But if those friendships don't make you grow anymore as an individual then why bother keeping them? The bible states this clearly:

"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1 Corinthians 15:33).

No matter how strong or firm you think you are, and how 'good' you think your character may be (depending how you view good as), don't think that you aren't compromising just by being around people who do not fear the Lord.

God knows that the greatest people that influence you are your friends.
So yes it may hurt, but choose to be strong, and choose to be separate from anyone who compromises your faith, no matter how much you love them. Feelings can only do so much for us, but God's Word and council never fails.

Instead, scripture teaches us how to choose our friends wisely:

"How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night." (Psalm 1:1-2 NASB).

The price to pay in losing unhealthy friendships DOES NOT COMPARE to the joy that Godly friendships bring into your heart and life. 

It is never easy to lose friends.
But we have a choice to walk according to God's will for our lives in uncompromising faith that He will provide people who will not only love us the way we deserve to be loved, but will also help us grow in our walk with Him.

Puppy Love
Then here comes the most awaited part of all: let's talk about boy-girl relationships. Or as I want to call it from experience, puppy love.
If I would just cut to the chase this love is the love you think you want but you don't need at all. It starts with a 'crush', but ends in complete disaster. Let me explain.
In this 'love', a boy and a girl is attracted to each other. Seemingly, to the world, attraction is enough to start a relationship. But I hate to burst your bubble: It isn't.
Looks can't keep a relationship the same way as simply being attractive can.
As the famous passage in proverbs 31:30 goes,
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Same goes for men of course.
You can work out all you want for those impressive muscles, v-cut abs, and getting your whole body fit and ripped at the gym, but depending on who you do this for or to what reason you invest your time, energy and finances on, will also determine as to the where this will all amount to in eternity.

So before you go into a relationship just for the sake of it, ask yourself first: Is it worth my time and heartbreak? And will this bring me closer to Jesus or farther away from Him?

Let Jesus always be the strong foundation in a relationship.

Tainted Love
I think that the worst part of falling in love with the 'wrong person', is falling in love with the wrong perspective of love. The pain that this "love" inflicts is so devastating that it makes you question if this is how love is supposed to feel. If this is all there is to it.
Yes pain is inevitable in all kinds of relationships. If we attempt to love, we should get ready to get our hearts broken. Otherwise if you keep your heart locked up, that wouldn't be living at all.
But it's sad to think how people can just settle for the love they think they deserve,
when there's a love out there made to last.

A Love Made To Last
So let me pull out this question once more: Despite all the pain and heartbreak, is love worth it?
Yes.
THIS love is worth it.
But it's worth comes not from the word itself or how we feel about it, or even our perspective towards it, but it roots farther more to the One who made it. God is the author and perfecter of love.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16 KJV).

He sent His only Son to die on that cross for you and me. His Son paid for our sins, our shame, our iniquity.

Every time I fall short, my failures are nailed on that cross. Jesus died for me.

"For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus." (1 Timothy 2:5 ESV).

And because He willingly did this for a dirty sinner like me (He who was pure and sinless tainted Himself saving me), 
I am able to come to the Father AS. I. AM.

What love is greater than this love?

It's so selfless. So kind. So compassionate.
So forgiving. 

For a person so worthy. So perfect. So pure. 
So deserving.

To die on that cross for me?

This is love.

And once I found this, I saw how perfect love existed.
And because of this, I know my worth.

I know who I am. 
I am a child of God.

Precious. Undeserving. Yet precious in His sight.

This love picked me up from where I was, and brought light into my life.
This is how real love is supposed to feel like.

My prayer to close is that you will also know that this love is open to you.

I pray that you will not settle for the love this world tells you about. 
But you will seek for the love that is made available to you in Christ Jesus.

My prayer is that as you seek God, you will not only find more of Him, but in finding Him, 
you will find who you were created to be.

My prayer is that you will find your contentment in Him,
that you won't have to keep running after someone that does not deserve you.
But from finding satisfaction in Him,
He will be the one to connect you with the right man/woman He has already chosen for you.

May the Holy Spirit fill you with a deeper understanding of God's eternal love.
Because this love will never fail you.
It will stir up your soul, and bring fire to your very existence.

It is a love made to last.

God is calling you back to Him

January 8, 2017.

His Word. It is everything.
I've seen it. What it does to a laid down lover of Jesus. How it changes. How it transforms. How it nourishes this life. I've also seen days without it. How vulnerable we really are. Humans are so weak. So easily swayed by the influence of the dark forces of this world. Satan is very crafty. Don't be so easily deceived that we can just "take a break" for a while and not have our daily spiritual food and not be swayed bit. by. bit.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12 NKJV)

Until we understand what or who we are up against we will always be blinded to what God offers us to see. God wants to show us things. He wants to reveal Himself to us in ways we cannot imagine.
Why hinder him?
Why fight him?

What are you so afraid of that you don't let him in?

Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me. (Psalm 42:7 NIV)

Deep calls to deep.
Does not that sounds appealing to your ears?

Or does that scare you?
It should.

Because good things never came from comfort zones.

And great things never came from our own strength.

Your Father, yes, The One in Heaven.
He has been watching over you.

Guiding you.
Waiting for you.
Whispering to your heart.

Will you answer Him?

Christmas in a Manger

December 25, 2016.
Written on Christmas
I always tell myself not to be emotional. To be strong. Before, I used to tell myself to look strong. To suck it all up, because feelings will never change a situation. I think the most painful thing right now is having to scroll down so many Christmas posts and feel a certain tug inside because it's officially been 2 Christmas' since my family was complete. But you know what? I praise God anyway. I praise Him in all situations because He has always been so good to me. Even if my feelings fail, His love never fails. Even if I am weak, I find Him strong in me. I find Him comforting and smiling, and telling me it will all be okay. Because He promises me tomorrow. Because He promises me a bright future, in a land flowing with milk and honey. (Exodus 3:17). He promises me a good land. (Deuteronomy 8:7). He promises me peace. I hold onto those promises as I face everyday.

Christmas Eve 
How my Christmas eve turned out was pretty unexpected. Everyone always asked me what my plans were. Honestly, I would tell them that I didn't have any. They just turn silent and wouldn't know what to say. Then I ask them what their plans were and they would say, "I'll be with my family."
End of conversation.
But it's in small things like those that make me think. What does God have for me this Christmas?
The answer came the day before Christmas eve when my sister and I were invited to this Christmas Christian service called Life and Light Christian Fellowship. There the pastor talked about dreams and desires and how so often they would lead to a manger. Just like how the 3 wise men of the east followed the star to a manger, I found myself there as well.
But I think finding that manger was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I think the best part of that night was when at the end of the service the pastor asked us to make a circle with our families. In this case, my sister and I were with my friend and her parents so we formed one circle. The pastor asked the dad of the family to pray for each of the members. It was in this moment that I was deeply moved to write this blog post. My family was far from complete. Their family was lacking a member for the christmas eve. And there we are joined as one. Complete in the Lord. With the father of that family praying for each of the member of the body. This touched me greatly.
That night I felt how our Father in heaven was just orchestrating everything. He knew every need. He answered that need. That night I felt full.
My Christmas eve was amazing. Because God made it amazing.
Even in the most unlikely circumstances.
I'm writing this because I don't want this moment to pass by without being remembered as deeply special. Someday in the future when I have my fill of family and I will always feel secure and satisfied every Christmas eve, I will look to this night and remember how my God was always beside me. He didn't leave me and my sister as orphans. He Fathers us like no father can perfectly do. I feel His presence with me and that is more than enough to feel full and satisfied in whatever season.

I praise God for leading me to this manger, because it was in this manger that I found Christ.
I'm welcoming 2017 with an open heart. It was a Merry Christmas!

We love you, Cadorna family.

(Photos from Life and Light Christian Fellowship)

"When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told." Luke 2:15-16.

Best Christmas Eve Dinner

Chigi Medical Mission

CHIGI Medical Mission

December 27, 2016.

What makes every event special is the many different people who put their resources together for a certain cause. May it be time, energy, money, or any form of support that would impact the mission a thousand fold. We sent out newsletters from our previous medical mission last September, and as the public may know, we are a non-profit organization depending on one driven soul for our finances. Chief Financial Officer, Mr. Paul Spaller, has dedicated his life to this calling of compassion. This is a perfect example of how one man can make a difference. But also as the saying goes: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Mr. Spaller's vision of building homes for the homeless Filipinos still stands together with the devoted support and benevolence of his loving wife, CEO, Tootsie Spaller, who also works tirelessly, even to the point of sacrificing her own personal resources just to obey the call from God that was bestowed upon her and her husband--To provide help to our destitute brothers and sisters who need it the most. Together they hold the vision of CHANGE. But to go far, we all have to play a part in doing this TOGETHER.

The Preparation

Last December 17, Saturday, CHIGI had its 2nd medical mission themed "Touching Lives Through Health and Wellness." CHIGI (Compassion for Humanity Int'l. Group Inc.) just had its anniversary last September 5, 2016, and our fist medical mission in the same month, on the 25th! It's been 3 months since then. How time flies.

This second time around, we decided to extend our hands of compassion towards our fellow Cebuanos of Liloan, Cebu. The expected number of beneficiaries were 500 and the number of volunteers, 150. This includes the core team of CHIGI, the medical doctors of Total Outreach for Community Health (TORCH), the ministry team, medical student volunteers from TORCH and Asian Medical Students Association – Service Oriented Medical Advocates (AMSA-SOMA), and massage therapists from Quota International of Southwest Cebu. 

This being the first time for me as one of the organizers for a medical mission is an experience I will never forget. It is very challenging serving with an NGO and very humbling asking for donations. May it be in the form of grants, food, medicine, and gift certificates. 

Food were needed for the 150 volunteers as lunch. Snacks were needed for the 500 beneficiaries. Of course, medicine plays a big part of the medical mission. Gift certificates were needed to be given to our team of medical doctors as a token of our appreciation for their medical service, and grants were most definitely needed to cover up expenses such as gasoline for the transportation, lacking medicine, or any other emergency needs.

The CHIGI team spent almost 2 months preparing for this mission and as the day was drawing close, we really experienced the blessings and divine hands of God at work in this organization. Everything was provided for but it took a lot of waiting, patience, and most importantly, prayers for everything to fall into place. It was all very humbling to see how it's always the Lord's will that prevails. And with everything that we have been through we have learned to expect the unexpected because this is also what makes things interesting.

Here is the medical mission newsletter:

If you enjoyed reading about our medical mission and want to know more about CHIGI and how you can help out I'll leave the links out here for you. Blessings and happy holidays! <3 

CHIGI Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/compassion4humanity.net/

CHIGI Website: http://www.compassion4humanity.net/

My Story

My Story

November 15, 2016.

If I were to choose what the happiest day of my life was before I met Christ it would take me a short while to answer. There were many. Although not one topped the other, they were all just a collection of equally happy birthdays, travels, time with family and friends, moments that would make me feel warm inside and just lucky to have experienced them.

But undeniably, if I were to choose the worst day of my life it would be the day I lost my mother. And I don't mean the day she died. I'm talking about the day I heard from the doctor that she had high stage pancreatic cancer followed by her defeated repetition of, "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no."

Everything happened so fast. Before my eyes I knew my life would change yet again.

Unseemingly, it already changed the day I lost my younger brother, Kevin, to lymphoma leukemia (still cancer) 8 years ago. He was 13. I was 16. I told myself he wouldn't die. That God wouldn't take him away from us, because I couldn't imagine a life without him. It was all just too unreal.

But now they're both gone.

Their time was up.

No one ever forgets the worst days of their life.

Maybe there was something about seeing the people that I love the most being taken from me right before my eyes. Death was so close to my door that it not only robbed me of my family but of my life as well. I was completely and utterly numb that living felt so meaningless. I didn't care about anyone or anything. I was emotionless and empty. I felt like everything around me fell quiet that all I could hear was the sound of my consciousness throbbing against the shell of this existence called my body. 

Yes, death was here. But it wasn't physical. I died to myself, spiritually.

But little did I know that this was just the tragic end to a beginning of a new life that would re-define the 20 years of my existence forever.

Paul wrote in Philippians 1:21, "For to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

This verse wouldn't have made any sense to me before as it does now. When I lost myself, I found God. Moreover, God found me where I was at. It turns out, He was just waiting this whole time and I didn't know. John Eldredge wrote on his book on 'Desire', as quoted by A.W. Tozer, "God waits to be wanted." 

But how could I want someone I didn't know? 

I think it was weeks after my mother's passing that I went to church for the first time after what felt like a long time. I took the bike there because we lived so close to one of the local catholic church, and parked it on the side. I lit up a few candles and was about to pray when I realized I didn't know how. There was a prayer about peace posted on one of the church's pillars just in front of me and I started reading it aloud to pray. Halfway through it, I realized that I didn't know what I was praying so I stopped and told God the shortest but most Effective prayer I ever prayed in my life,

"God. If you are real, prove it."

With that I went home without realizing how that prayer I made moved God's hands.

Desperation

Later that week I became so unsettled. I wanted to find answers. I knew there had to be answers even if I didn't know what questions to ask. After the wave of death and emptiness, a new feeling took its toll; I was desperate.

We just had our school acquaintance party where the people my age would be graduating college that year. It was a milestone for them and I wanted to be there to see everyone before they all move on to the next chapter of their lives. A few days after, with everyone from that night still so fresh in my memory, amidst my desperation for answers, someone's name popped into my mind as if God Himself was leading me. It was a girl who I got acquainted with in the party. We knew each other because of our many mutual friends but we never really talked until then. All I knew about her in that very moment, was that she was a Christian.

I asked for her contact number from a mutual friend and texted her. I asked her if we could meet, because I wanted to know more about God.

I couldn't wait any longer so I went to where she was.

We talked as I told her everything that happened to me.

The hair on my arms started to raise when she said that she specifically prayed for this.

Her words were, I will paraphrase, "I prayed for at least one person in that acquaintance party to find God. And Chris, I never thought it would be you."

We laughed as we talked and that night I attended my first D-group (Discipleship group).

Hunger

I started attending CCF (Christ Commission Fellowship) and there I started getting fed as a baby Christian. I would always look forward to every Saturday Elevate where we would sing songs to the Lord and then listen to a speaker talk about God. Then we would break out into groups. I was automatically surrounded with people who loved the Lord and were seeking Him.

It was a different world and I felt myself slowly changing little by little. 

Change

Change is a step by step process. First it was my cussing, then it was my hair, then it was my clothes. It was never easy. The most challenging part for me was when my relationships started to break without me even doing anything intentional to witness such unusual turn of events. 

Then God changed my church. It was through a conference in Pampangga last April 2014 when God first spoke to me through the bible. He told me of my life story through 2 Corinthians 7:5-13:

New International Version (NIV)

5 For when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.

8 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—9 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 12 So even though I wrote to you, it was neither on account of the one who did the wrong nor on account of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. 13 By all this we are encouraged.

I was dumbfounded. 

This God is real. He's not dead. He talked to me! 

I couldn't believe what just transpired before my eyes. I saw something that was not normal; It was Spiritual. I was seeking Him. And He answered me.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Matthew 7:7 NIV.

The Pampangga conference went on for 5 days. In the 4th day there was a session different from all the other sermon-sessions. It was a a session called the Filling of the Holy Spirit meeting.

What is this? I didn't really mind asking what it was in detail at that time. Although I wish I did when it was already happening. But looking back, I'm glad I didn't because it caught me by surprise in a really good way. 

It was a meeting where we would just pray and seek God's face. We would sing songs on our seats the whole time and worship. It was really all normal at first until people from random seats started screaming like crazy! I was petrified. What is happening? I just wanted to go out of the room that very moment but I couldn't because I was in the middle of the row with so much people standing, kneeling, shouting, and crying around me. I looked at my sister who was rows away from me and she looked back at me with the same confusion I had. (or maybe mine was more).

I couldn't do anything. Feeling helpless with my situation I closed my eyes and prayed for God to help me.

The weirdest thing happened.

Tears started falling from my eyes! 

I was crying, but I wasn't sad. 

It was the Holy Spirit filling me as a wave of peace washed over me and I felt unafraid.

Everything that happened to me from then on started to get drastic.

I found myself calling my boyfriend at that time and telling him this over the phone,

"I don't know why I'm calling. But I just wanted you to know that I'm a Christian now. And when I go back to Cebu, Everything will change."

Looking back I knew that I was compelled by the Holy Spirit to make that call.

Sure enough, when I went back to my hometown, everything changed even more drastically.

I got baptized on July 13, 2014 in CCGC (Cebu Christian Gospel Center). This was the happiest day of my life.

The Price of following Christ

Despite every pain I had to go through to get where I am right now, I can say that it was all worth it.

I'm a 2 year old Christian now and so much has happened since I encountered Jesus.

I loved and I lost. I lost people who were important to me. I was convicted to stop my flourishing online business at that time. And I had to go through so much darkness in my disobedience as I tried with every ounce of my being to fight for the light that gave me this new life.

I had to battle depression. And so much more just because I didn't obey this one single thing that God told me to do. He wanted me to let go of something that I cherished more than Him but didn't know the extent to that idolatry yet at that time. I prayed so hard and God always revealed things to me. He showed me things that I wouldn't normally see if I didn't ask Him for it. It hurt a lot. But it also brought me closer and closer to Him. I depended on Him for strength because I was so out of it. I drained every ounce of emotional strength I had left for someone God didn't want me to be with. I was going through hell and back but I allowed it. This was on me.

Move

After 2 years of battling with the same disobedience, God has finally set me free.

"And what he has set free is free indeed." John 8:36.

He led me to this conference that changed my Christian walk.

He was ushering me into a new season where I would experience Him MORE. What happened to me in this One Thing 2016 conference was unfathomable.

*click to view:

My Testimony - One Thing Conference 2016

Calling

In this conference God gave me a calling. He told me to go to Canada and have my DTS (Discipleship Training School) there with YWAM/Youth with a Mission. I didn't embrace this with the most opened arms at first because it was too radical of a decision to make. One huge factor was that I also still had a few remaining subjects left in college which I intended to finish that time on the coming semester of June 2016. So after some thought I told Him I would do what He wanted me to do, after I graduate. But He was very intentional with me and told  me to do this, This Year. After much much more Words, meditation, Spiritual experiences, countless confirmation and extremely strong circumstances, I finally yielded in surrender and said YES. 

After which I experienced Him GREATLY for the months that came after my obedience, EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Close

Not everyone will understand your walk. Not everyone will understand your calling. Because it is God who calls you, not man. Not even family, nor friends, nor Christians will fully understand, because a relationship is very personal. 

To summarize, I did everything He told me to do to prepare for Canada, to which He aided me with every step of the way. Divine favors came. Circumstances were profoundly working towards the call. The journey of preparation itself was just amazing. God was being very intentional with all this. I thought about how much He wanted this for me and I was very excited.
But when the result for the Canadian visa application arrived, I was refused. The mail I was holding from the immigration office stated that I lacked papers, But, I was free to re-apply again. Then I found out that a refusal is different from being declined.
I wasn't declined, I was refused.
It's not a no, just a Not Now.

God knows I wasn't ready to go yet. I wasn't ready financially, and emotionally. But He blessed my willingness greatly and had everything prepared for me this year for the next season of my walk with Him which will be next Spring 2017 in which I plan to go to the DTS (If God wills it). 

Currently, He is training me with so many things in line to His call for me. He is dealing with me emotionally and spiritually. Financially, I'm not quite there yet but if this is really His will for me then  I am confident that HE WILL PROVIDE.

As I write this I just want to say that obedience at the moment is never a sure thing for us Christians. When God tells us to do something it doesn't mean that we have it all figured out, because we never will. We only find things out step by step as we walk in faith through the leading of the Holy Spirit. And as we continue to trust that His plans for us is to prosper us and not to harm us, but to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), Abundance and Blessings always follow. 

This is a story about who God is and what He does to a human heart.

This is a story of change, and bewilderment, and excitement on what the future holds
for those whose trust is in the Lord.

I will be updating from time to time.

I will also be writing about some experiences I had that has really blessed and molded me to this very day. 

If this has blessed you, I praise God. 

It's in my inability to get things done right that I am able to depend on Him completely for the strength to write this testimony. It's not an easy thing to tell the world your story with the probability of getting judged and vulnerable. But Jesus didn't die on that cross for my feelings. He died so I can have life and life abundantly. I was dead to my sin before He found me. I was lost but now I'm found, and I owe it all to the One who paid the ultimate price to set me free.

"He who is, and who was, and who is to come" Revelation 1:8 NIV.

I am looking forward to the day where I get to see Him Face to Face.

But for now I will glorify Him through my writing.

It's not much, but if my testimonies can bring people to the truth, or even just closer to it, and open prison doors, then I will keep on shining His light, just to bring glory to the name that is the name of all names, Jesus.

None of me, but all of Him.

To God be the glory.